my voice is so fucking stupid. god. no wonder i don't have any friends.

how do people get like 25 comments for a journal entry that consists of one sentence like, "i am beastiality?"

France sounds like a nice place to go. they hate bush. they love sex. and alcohol.

i hear it kinda smells though. and they don't really shave anything.


America has gotten so fuckin' stupid over the past 4 years. we'll all have down syndrome by the time we get to the next election.

what's up with all these fairly good lookin' girls dating sloppy monstrosities, that only a fool would consider to be human beings, that play football. don't get me wrong. i get the whole sloppy monster rich nfl dating shit. but come on. i mean these guys are playing high school football. what's the attraction? is it like the excitement in risk? that if at any point he rolls the wrong way while sexing with you, you die?




50% of marriages in the United States end in divorce. my question is who decides which shmucks get put on Oprah as if their divorces are unique and they have a tragic and unusual story. fuck you. get divorced. go home and listen to some crying people music. and get back on the horse. if at first you don't succeed, divorce, divorce again. one of these days you'll get to cry for millions of white, middle-class, depressed women and a black lady whose weight fluctuates drastically every year whose first name begins with a fucking o.

we're far too gracious to one another. our whole way of life is pleases, thankyous, salutations, and congradulations. if we were to round up all the useless things we say that don't really matter to us, but matter to us because we decided that they do as a social group, we'd either be considered mute or very nasty.

take birthdays for example. everybody says happy birthday to the birthday person but you hardly ever really give a fuck. except during you're own birthday. then you make up for a lot of the not fuck giving that goes on during other birthdays. and sometimes you don't even care then. if someone were to tell you it was their birthday and you were to say 'ok' or simply 'i really don't care', that makes you their hell dwelling terror for gossip for at least a week. but its just gossip, a whole bunch of wasted words turned into sentences with great enthusiasm. terribly mean. maybe you should take the less direct route, like 'i think i want some french fries.' theres something that matters to you. no wasted words there. but if you don't want to change your ways too quickly, say 'i think i want some french fries, thankyou.'

i'll probably see this article tomorrow and find it stupid. then i'll waste some words in my head wondering if it was stupid. cause that's what i do.


and ya know what else? people who get offended cause of the big ol' N word can kiss my ass. you're fuckin' cocks. you're black people lookin' for an excuse to call white people racist cause you're so fucking insecure. and if its not that, its cause you're fucking stupid and some insecure activist told you to get offended at it. and this goes for all that shit. not just the big ol' n. you can kick my ass. i get it. shut up.

and don't read this thinking 'wow, he's angry'. imagine me saying this like i was telling my inquiring parents what happened today at school while they don't actually listen but say uh, huh while they desperately fool with shit on the kitchen counters.

yesterday i was in english. the teacher is fat.
she asked for help from a couple of strong young men.
the fattest boy in the room raised his stubby flab and hand.
there are some other people who are fat.

who decided that vagina=afraid?

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masque


prom

promprompromromrommorpmorop

fucket

the secret service visited a 15 year old boy in washington state for pictures he had drawn of current president george w. bush. his art teacher turned them in to the police, one consisting of bush as a devil firing a missle, the other, bushes head on a stick. the boy is in no legal trouble, but the schoolboard is taking the proper action.









i don't think i want to live in a country where i can't draw my own president's head on a stick.

give me a man and i'll give you his text.


ask for a nation and i'll hand you you're blender.


watch carefully an ant and he'll tell you you're future.

I want anyone who reads this to give me 3 rats, no more no less. Ask me anything you want. If you put this in your journal, as well, then you'll have it in you're journal, as well.

if you feel good about being america, watch bowling for columbine. i give you my word that you won't feel like a piece of shit for existing here afterwards.


i'm safe in my house with my news


and my gun.


i think i'm gonna let a large animal take off my head when the time comes. they deserve that.


last night i had this chinese fried shrimp stuff. i think it was lined with pork. it tasted funny. and my stomach later felt as though i had swallowed a pound of scorpians. rolaids kick ass. i think i may go totally vegetarian (besides dick of course, robin) now. give up brainless sea-dwelling creatures once and for all.

we'll sea.


HAH! SEA!


Enrob, all prom are go unless you say otherwise in which case all prom are not going.


-plaf

at long last, i have heard a starter glitch in the Atkins diet. there's seems to be an unusual parallel between regular atkins worshipers and trouble using the bathroom. what could be causing these bizarre instances? its not like bread has fiber...

heh. i watched a show on the oh! oxygen network today. it was competition where these people set up a studio, put makeup on models, moved them around like dolls, took pictures of them, and called it photography. i did that when i was a kid, and called it barbie.

yeah. i played with barbies. deal with it. but, for the record i also incorporated those giant GI Joes and X-men.

ok i just happened to watch southpark for the first time in 4 years the other day, and it was the one on the passion of christ. it was fucking hilarious. cartman dresses up like hitler and leads the unsuspecting crowd of passion supporters to rally against jews making them chant things in german along the lines of 'execute the jews'. (my german-award-winning sister was there for translation). the jews rally against the movie being shown, and by the end, mel gibson shows up in his underwear, warpaint on his face, begging people to torture him. at which point everyone decides the movie sucks and goes home.

gulliver's travels is a really freakin' good story. i didn't realize it actually meant something.

i wish i still had people to play music with. i wish i still had people. the earth=my house.

where has that ever gotten anybody?

-essentially, every living thing has its own property known as territory.
-man began ownership with tools which soon became weapons.
-then there was clothing.
-territory became structures.
-civilization took shape.
-animals were taken in as pets.
-level of importance swayed from physical ability to a new fad turned revolution: havin' good stuff.
-people became goods.
-but this is bad so it didn't last long.
-not long ago (in the span of u-man life) children changed from apprentici to pets.
-now mans as a whole are a controversial owny. take a t-shirt that contains a doo-word. you figured it would be funny to have and spent your money on it. now your a bit embarrassed to wear it. if you get some smiles, your chest sticks out and you turn up puddle of ass while beaming. if you get dirty looks, you try to bury in your closet so that you can't see it and keep doing what you were doing without looking up.

why am i even considering not voting? by the end of clinton's term our national debt was nonexistant. in less than four years short tree has put it into what, the trillions? who cares if kerry (or who kerries of care) isn't up to par. i don't think its possible for a person to have enough time on their hands within three and one half years to do a worse job.

this has been hardball with paul shank. shut up.

try to type z as fast as you possible can. zeyah zee zi zey wathe fuck

so i guess i'm going to prom. i'm kinda excited. 'specially if there's going to be a barter limo.

never desk lacks
a moniter for faqs
nor all a nics and nacs
ah! chair to relax
nonprocess without syntax
tighten tie blink
strain'd eye
throw up type


biology n' sumf

-i am paul's white blood cells

Darwinism basically says that the fittest survive and therefore we evolve to fit our stuff and the less fit get diedoed. many christians say that they did not evolve and will not evolve and that god said bam. so, in creating a mutual adjoltation of the two, these bammed christians must be ants all operating as a single organism with their eyes only pointed toward feeding their queen. it is our duty, as nonbammeds, to step on them.





hebuzzeslikeafridge





(do you have the in'rds?)

i saw the first half of dogma for the first time today. it is quite possibly the funniest first half of a movie i have ever seen. i mean, come on, George Carlin was a catholic cardinal.


between clerks and dogma,
kevin smith is a fuckin' geni.

i saw something on an albino kangaroo and realized it was blackberry. he was kicked out of his family for being albino (weird-bodied). he was found and saved by an australian lady in australia(my sister in asheville). he sticks close to the lady (my family) and is afraid of (mean to) everyone else. he has really freakin' strong back legs (really freakin' strong back legs).


i watched another video today on a guy who's best friend is an alligator, which he allows to rest its upper body on his lap. not yet fully grown at 12 feet, over 220 lbs., and up to a ton of jaw pressure, you could see this as a bit nerve-wrecking. i wanna be that kind o' guy when i grow up. fuck lapdogs, i want a lapalligator.

lapalligator

I keep the wolf from the door
But he calls me up
Calls me on the phone
Tells me all the ways that he's gonna mess me up
Steal all my children
If I don't pay the ransom
And I'll never see 'em again
If I squeal to the cops

have you any idea how many people there are who think "this didn't make sense to me, so it must suck?"

this applies to most everything. be it movies, books, clothing, or a toothbrush, in someones eyes it will mate with the same sex and be dumber than that person's eyes.

today i heard a girl say enthusiastically, "Oh! We have the same gum."

why is there this whole thing with janet's boob? to make the cows stop mooing.

aw, that last comment must be gay.

whereon a dozen staunch and Meal
citizens did graze at pause
then fired by hypercivic zeal
sought newer pastures or because


-luap

humans are in six categories.
-the witty-speak their mind(or so they say) without fear and are fun to listen to.
-the pretty-stand around and people pay attention to them personality or not.
-the mindy-mind the fuck out of everybody.
-the athletic-faster and stronger than you.
-the angry-win acceptance being hardasses and causing fear.
-the rebellious-feel that they have acceptance by being different and saying that they don't want acceptance. corn rocks.

nearly all of these people censor their thoughts in some way.

hi. my name is paul. i threw away all of my filters. what i think is what matters to me. approximately 1 percent of what i say is worth listening to.




take this for instance.





and i still hate my fuckin' nose.